Category Archives: me

Posts about me; personal life type stuff.

Dream: Liturgy and priesthood

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Last night’s dream:

I was on a spiritual retreat at some place which looked like a mansion; lots of big cushy rooms with expensive furniture.  There were other guests on this retreat, perhaps 20 in all.  I didn’t really get much of an impression of the other guests; incongruously for the surroundings, most of us were dressed very casually.  I, for instance, was in my usual T-shirt and jeans.  We engaged in only light discussion of our spiritual backgrounds/beliefs, mostly having just small talk, weather, sports, pop culture, etc.

A few of the guests however … [more]

Dream: A big mansion

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(Initials used are pseudonymous and are not the real persons’ initials.)

Last night’s dream: I was coming into possession (but see below) of a big mansion somewhere. It wasn’t explicitly in Pittsburgh, nor explicitly not, but a number of waking-life friends dropped in for a party. Not every person in the dream was someone I know in waking life.

There were four floors. I was showing the place off to visitors.

One feature I remember was a large patio facing the back yard on which there was, absurdly, a bathtub.  It had a roof over it, … [more]

Grand re-reopening!

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After many years away from it, and a tremendous amount of soul-searching, I have an announcement to make: I’m back in business.

This is not a repeat from 2009.

After several years of skepticism and doubt, triggered by a combination of natural growth and unpleasant experiences with people whose views on magick took them dangerously away from reality (as opposed to merely slightly away), I’ve come full-circle.

My renewed occult studies may come as a disappointment to two types of people:

friends who adhere to mainstream revealed religions and hoped I might come around
friends who adhere to … [more]

Here I come to save the day

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I have made an executive decision to have delusions of grandeur, if delusions they be.  I went off my game, spirituality-wise and life-wise, back in 1998 when the Great Evil came to my life, and I’ve noticed that the entire world has been veering towards catastrophe ever since.

I apologize for not realizing sooner that I held the fate of an entire planet in my hands, but rational thinking compelled me to consider other possibilities.

We no longer have time for rational solutions.  The time left to save the world from itself is mere months.  … [more]

I have the Power, part the second

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Last night I went to one of the sanghas (Buddhist communities) of Pittsburgh and received an empowerment.  In Vajrayana Buddhism an empowerment is essentially a blessing which allows one to properly use the mantra, visualization, and meditation practice connected with a particular figure.

In this case, the figure was Vajrapani, who represents the spiritual power of the Buddhas, protection of the law, righteous anger, and so forth.  (It’s important to note that “righteous anger” does not simply mean “anger roused for a good cause”, but “anger directed skillfully to actually produce enlightenment”.  All too … [more]

I have the power!

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This story may seem immensely cheesy.  That’s fine.

A large part of why I’ve not done much magick in a while is something I’m almost embarrassed to admit.  When one does magical work, one is supposed to be able to “feel” the energy.  Now whether you believe in this or not — you can dismiss this as creative visualization, self-deception or self-hypnosis — you need to “feel” it to really do the work, to know that you’re “working”.

I’ve not been able to get that feeling for quite a while.  As in, for months.

But today … [more]

Already in

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I just woke up, minutes ago, from an interesting dream.  I was joining a society with some secrets. In waking life, I know some of those secrets because they are widely available for reading by the curious, but I will omit them from this account so as not to “spoil” things for anyone interested.

I dreamt I was at an open-to-the-public informational meeting for the Freemasons.  People of all genders and ages were present; apparently it wasn’t just for the Masons strictly, but also for the ladies’ auxiliary group (Order of the Eastern Star) … [more]

Invocation or lack thereof

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I thought to myself in early September when planning the HGA invocation project, “You could get distracted by getting an XBox.”  Well, I’ve not played my XBox too much.  “You could get distracted by girls.”  I’ve not dallied much.  “You could get distracted by your new position at work.”  It has had a learning curve and taken some of my energy, but not that much.

No, the thing which has prevented me from invoking as I had planned — I’ve not lifted my nifty new magical tools and invoked even once this month — … [more]

Tag St. Tag

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When Crowley was proceeding from the mystical degree of Adeptus Minor to Adeptus Major, he undertook a “Great Magical Retirement”. He went to Paris (because he could) and spent a few weeks dining in cafés, frequenting billiard parlours, and shagging a model (because he could).

All the while, he was trying to keep a mantra going in his head, and when he went back to his flat, doing yoga practices and rituals to concentrate his mind on his Holy Guardian Angel, with whom he was attempting to establish contact.

He succeeded after about two weeks. … [more]

A magical dream

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I was awakened from a dream this morning by my phone making noise; a text came in.  It was outstanding timing.

You see, I was having a dream in which Our Hero (who was not me, per se; the dream was third-person, watching an action movie as it were) had defeated all of The Bad Guy’s henchmen and was preparing for the final confrontation.  The entire movie up to that point had been modern, technological; the weapons were guns, electronic warfare, and so forth.

But then Our Hero’s Crazy Sidekick/Mentor — sort of the Doc … [more]